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[Jul. 23rd, 2008|01:01 am]

tommygirl
omg, this power trip is going to make me into an asshole!

I can just predict it.
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I got it from my mama (this drama) [Jul. 23rd, 2008|12:36 am]

tommygirl
I saw 20 out of the 40 kids I led in the desert.
Jeebus, as a group, they are 90% awesome,
they're surprisingly quiet and mature for their age...I was such a loud ass punk at their age, despite angelically nerdy appearances, I was fucking hyper.

Please note I MUST HAVE GROWN A PENIS
(cause that's the only way to get respect in the middle east, HA! look ma, NO HANDS!


I was ready to file an incident, be majorily embarassed and then let down -only to be come jaded...BUT it turns out, they made decisions based on my initial 15 minute call to the office...

a) THE GUIDE I WAS PAIRED WITH WILL NEVER EVER BE USED BY THE COMPANY, EVER, AGAIN (he will die of a broken heart, this was his favourite trip provider, as the others are sucky/cheap/not as posh....
I'd feel guilty, but Karma seems to have finally taken over. HE SHOULD HAVE JUST BEEN NORMAL/NICER)

b) the kid who pretty much sexually harassed me (it wasn't that dramatic, just disturbing, but I mean..he just crossed the line, twice) at the beginning, and MAJORLY at the end of the trip will now be paying for it....apparently $5,000 or so (not to me, to the company, for breaching codes of conduct and sch. happeee!).
as long as I get two or three letters of witnesses.
DONE. AND. DONE (Anna, Jada, Elena...bow chica wa waaa...maybe Matthew)
(I SO HOPED they would charge him, but really didn't expect it)
he also can never participate in anything organized by them. which is good, cause if I had t see his face again, heaven help me.

Please note, he saved the worst incident for the AIRPORT, knowing everyone's authority went out the window and he was free to do whatever he wanted.
I initially walked away from the incident,
then turned around, put down my bag walked over and PUNCHED HIM in the side when he didn't expect it.
It was fucking awesome. I don't know how hard I punch, but thanks to adrenaline, I KNOW he felt that one...


I still may never do this again, by my choice or theirs...
but yeah.
NICE!
!

....I really feel, and am surprised, by the amount of respect they've shown me.
This went to head office.
PLEASE NOTE, the head office is directed by an ex-lawyer who doesn't like anyone,

and I thought I was on his bad side, for planning events that weren't congruent with his earlier this fall...
so, I AM AMAZED.
it was fast and easy...like the troublesome kid's mom.
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COMICAL Ekonomica. [Jul. 22nd, 2008|06:29 pm]

tommygirl
Dear Jeebus, and Jebus Sr.
aka, the one with which the force is.

DOn't get mad.
promise?!
just ...don't yell.

I'm going back.
that's not the most upsetting (for you) part...
It'll be 100%out of pocket, most likely...
like...my pocket will have a hole burnt into it
and instead of change falling out, there will be grabby hands reaching in....

sincerely, but not so much.
Peeping Tom P.
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a.k.a. EFF YOU. [Jul. 22nd, 2008|03:28 pm]

tommygirl
it's kinda funny how your friends are great friends...
when it's convenient.
(maybe it's just me, someone shat in my cereal, or i woke up on the wrong side of the bed)

tra la la.

P.S. this is not hot/summer.
THIS IS NOT HOT.
where's all the heat??? I'm used to it being 20x this bad.
this is sad.
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...ooooh..10% more jaded & about to expire in 3 days? what a deal [Jul. 21st, 2008|11:36 pm]

tommygirl
Ugh...
so there's a dream job,
requires very little outside of my realm of (AMAZING) skills.
and my GOOD gay-best-friend-biggest-enemy-cause-we're-brother-n-sister
is doing the selection/hiring.

and I randomly ran into him and his (sexy) partner
today, and heard him complain about how hard it is to select people to interview,
so I says to him, I says, 'GIVE ME THE JOB - see? I'm doing your job for you already! how EASY was THAT?'
and was basically told to apply, and so on and on, and we'll see
and everyone who applied so far is pretty retarded in person.

so instead of running home, like a good little girl,
I went to some brain washing meeting on the other end of town
about business opportunities and stuff...
yeah.

I rule at prioritizing.

Also, from my understanding, I have just signed up to go
on a weekend road trip in the car of an interracial couple
(he's black baptist 'WOO, YEAH!' type, and she's as french canadian as Celine Dion
-AND EQUALLY happy-go-lucky-and-annoying!)
They are taking me to a meeting, so I can meet the VP and CEO of this and of that company at the headquarters of Narnia or something......
BECAUSE I have so much potential (OMG, THEY ARE OBVIOUSLY L.Y.I.N.G and planning to rob/molest me! jk, they're nice)
....apparently I offered to chip in for gas.
wtf.

seriously, I'm like the court jester for the greco-roman gods above.
ARE YOU FUCKING ENJOYING THIS, ZEUS???
yeah?!? I bet you are, you dirty old man.
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this would be cool if I was 16-19. [Jul. 21st, 2008|06:02 pm]

tommygirl
haha...
so Sury's B-day.
we end up at Jimmy's place (such an awesome, yet dirty, yet clean, yet guy-ish sacred place of nerdiness and awesome shit)
So I pass by his hair-straightening roommate's room & comment on something, as i usually do...and point to a huge stack of CD's and ask if he really has that much porn that he's got to burn it every day...or something...(I say stupid stuff around guys, meh)

and he nonchalantly gives me one,
turns out he's in a band (
which, naturally, coming from lack-of-talent Toronto, I almost gag)...
turns out they're not bad.
Kind of The Used-ish, without trying too hard (that's cool, I asked the kids these days, haha)
....which is kind of good, in my sad lonely head.

ugh. sure, when I'm too 'mature and sophistimificated' for band dudes...
they seem to be everywhere...

aw shit, I'm listening to the song, and it just got kind of superawesome.
hi five!
but seriously, in the last 5 years, my taste in music has gotten questionable
YEAH, I'M COMFORTABLE WITH MYSELF TO SAY THAT. pffft.
(once again, blame that on growing up in Toronto, pretty much. haha)

I think there was something funny in my soy burger
OH FUCK
I'm becoming one of them...
fucking hippie fuckers.
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[Jul. 21st, 2008|05:11 pm]

tommygirl
Dear Jeebus & Mr. Jeebus Senior.

I don't know what you've got planned,
but I, NOT ME, am NOT giving up!!!

*shakes fist at sky...violently*

I shall survive a nuclear holocaust, and live with the roaches &
sing with Cher before I give up.

Yours, not so truly,
Peeping Tom P.
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Varieties of Gaming Experience [Jul. 21st, 2008|02:31 pm]

trufflesniffer
One day last week (they all seemed to blur together) I was playing GTA 3 (the 'original', though I remember the earlier, overhead predecessors) whilst listening to Radio 4 and a programme started whose premise seemed to be as follows: some concerned, well-meaning, well-healed, radio-4-listening, world-consciousness-raising parents believed their son was spending too much time playing computer games, and thought they would try to 'inspire' him out of the joypad bashing by taking him somewhere 'exotic' (the Mongolian Steppe, I believe) and showing him that the real world was such an exciting, interesting and engaging place that he didn't need to look to 'virtual worlds' for excitement, interest, or engagement.

A fine sentiment (though, as before, it's slightly naive and objectionable that rich Westerners should believe that the every-day activities of poor Easterners should automatically be more exciting or interesting than their own), but I think it's based on the wrong idea about one of the main appeals of games. Games narrow, rather than expand, our range or interests, choices, possibilities, and experiences: that's what's so addictive about them.
I write as someone who knows the visceral appeal of (computer) games all too intimately. I think it's a more heightened, more temporal, microcosmic variant of what draws people towards religious rituals, life-coaching manuals, habits and routines, and strict 'moral' codes. To my mind, such activities make reality more game-like: they narrow down the range of choices people have (and have to make) in their daily lives, they strongly dictate the goals towards which individuals should direct their efforts, they offer a limited range of options about how such goals should be achieved, and they assure adherents that achieving the goals whilst playing by the rules will be amply rewarded.
For someone who can adopt a game-like metaphysical framework, the world becomes a clearer, simpler place - with good guys and bad guys, right actions and wrong actions, things to strive for and things to avoid. Do an hour of yoga every day before going to work, and you'll live to a grand old age in great health; pray seven times a day (at times and in ways that are clearly defined), and you're guaranteed a place in paradise; just do these things this way and everything will be fine. 'Life' becomes a game: no more need to worry about the 'what' or the 'why' of it all, now all that matters is 'how'. ('How' to become a millionaire; 'how' best to show one's devotion to God; and so on...)

Within the programme it was mentioned that the son the parents wanted to wean off games by showing him the breadth of the world had been diagnosed at school as 'dyslexic' and 'dyspraxic'. If he were in the US, I guess this means he'd been labeled as having 'ADD'... whatever the official diagnostic category, my guess is this means the child has more difficulty 'paying attention' and 'staying focused' than most of his peers.
Or, to flip this logic on its head, this probably means he's probably already more 'open to new experiences' and aware of things going on around him than most of his peers. Perhaps his world is a little less linear, a little less structured, a little less certain, a little more ambiguous, than most of his peers'. Perhaps, then, computer games function as temporary respites; oases of structure and certainty in a complex and shapeless world populated by people who don't seem to realise that it's not a game.

... Or maybe that's just me.
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ah, fuck yeah. [Jul. 17th, 2008|04:49 pm]

tommygirl
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Tweets for Today [Jul. 17th, 2008|12:08 pm]

conormaguire

  • 08:14 Ah yes the fabled Bristol "Left turn on red" or as it is more commonly known the oncoming traffic break test. #

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[Jul. 16th, 2008|03:33 pm]

tommygirl
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080716/ap_on_re_mi_ea/israel_lebanon

trading dead bodies for SEVERAL live bodies is a disgrace
to diplomacy, to humanity...
it's a damn slap in the face of WHICHEVER god(s) you chose to believe in.


If I was the relative of the dead soldier, fuck yeah, I'd want his body
BACK....but not in exchange for letting a BABY + FATHER + POLICE officer killing
motherfucker go free....

fuck!
I can ignore the news, and live in a negativity-free abyss of space,
I could try...
I could...only if I were ignorant and ridiculously stupid or distracted by over-marketed hyped shit or electronic possessions


read that whole article and try not to be sickened...if you aren't, then there's something wrong with you.


the middle east is not a dirty or cursed or uncultured place
it's just a MICOROCOSM of people and the variety of beliefs they live and die for.
welcome to the world in which you're a citizen.
now DO something...anything....or just wait for your kids to be forced to deal with it one day, regardless of where they live.
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$16, 597 Slovak Koruna$ - damn Michaela [Jul. 16th, 2008|09:39 am]

tommygirl
$ 16 597 SKK
ZAPLATENÉ

Toronto [YYZ] Praha [PRG] 15.7.2008, 16:05 16.7.2008, 06:15 OK 103
Praha [PRG] Bratislava [BTS] 16.7.2008, 07:15 16.7.2008, 08:20 OK 960


Sledovanie rezervácie
Odporúčame Vám priebežne sledovať aktuálny stav Vašej rezervácie na stránke www.viewtrip.com
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Tweets for Today [Jul. 16th, 2008|12:05 pm]

conormaguire
  • 08:14 And seven months into my job I set up my voice mail. #
  • 10:34 mySQL should take my spelling errors in data into account when executing my commands. Perform magic for me computer! Protect me from me! #
  • 11:41 Bands that aren't popular enough to have torrents shouldn't be allowed to be good. What the fuck am I supposed to do, buy a CD? #
  • 19:04 Who loses at checkers? Bloody midgame. #
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condensed. [Jul. 15th, 2008|05:12 pm]

tommygirl
breathe in, breath out,
such a simple concept.
it's all that's required to live. really.

and here we are, in our complex over-saturated stressful lives,
hurting, polluting, scarring and damaging
everything, and everyone, in our way
...including ourselves.

---------------------------------------------------------

today I escorted someone to a police station,
had someone else give a witness report
and got two police escorts to remove everything from a house
including the passport/money/luggage of an individual
who had to get to the airport, for an international flight,
within the next hour (with the airport 50 minutes away)

I think the whole thing should have been filmed
and sent to Nice's Film Festival, under the 'action & suspenense' category.

still shaken, catching my breath...trying to wrap my head around the
state of absurdity of this world.

----------------------------------------------------------

I WAS THERE:



honestly....war-torn countries, terrorists attacks, anything...
was better than
whatever today was.
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truer now...more than ever, [Jul. 14th, 2008|01:10 am]

tommygirl
[Tags|]
[Current Location |velocity]


the highest of highs...
and lowest of lows,

my love,
that is life.
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Tweets for Today [Jul. 14th, 2008|12:05 pm]

conormaguire

  • 09:43 Small child falls holding milk upright. Mother lifts child by wrist pouring milk on child. You suck mommy. #

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Tweets for Today [Jul. 13th, 2008|12:06 pm]

conormaguire

  • 08:05 And we learned that Shane is not Pale Rider. #

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Tribes [Jul. 11th, 2008|10:52 am]

trufflesniffer
Assuming that my time is worthless, I'm continuing to get infinite value from the BBC (by having no television, and thus no legal requirement to pay a television license, but at the same time listening to BBC radio and watching programmes on the iPlayer). Recently, I've been taken by a couple of programmes based around the contrivance of Developed World 'westerners' going to and living with ancient tribes.

The first is 'Last Man Standing', in which pop anthropology is hidden inside a thick coating of high-energy, US-style reality TV gameshow: six male contestants - arrogant, narcissistic jocks from the US and the UK - have to compete with each other in a series of games. The twist: the games are those created and played by various ancient tribes from around the world. Each week, the jocks would live with the tribes and learn the rules and techniques of the game; invariably, this also meant learning something of the customs and rituals of the tribe, at least insofar as rituals - dances, chants, ceremonies and so on - were integral parts of the games.
Most interesting to me was an episode in which a form of 'cricket' practiced by a tribe in Papua New Guinea: many generations ago, Western missionaries came to the tribe to 'civilise' them, and taught them Christianity and cricket; after the missionaries left, the tribe seemed to discard the Christianity but keep the cricket, adapting it into something very much their own. Batters bat with carefully selected and prepared tree branches, delegating the running to specialist runners, grass skirts and feathers flailing as they run, each team comprises fifty or sixty players, intoxicated on a local herbal drink, who burst into intricate song and dance routines lampooning their opponents each time one of their players is bowled or caught out. Sometimes the games turn into low-level warfare, they mention; a few years ago a rival chief's son was killed...
Originally I thought the reality TV gameshow format was incorrigibly inappropriate, a sign of the BBC desperately trying to force interest and appreciation of the 'other' to uninterested and unappreciative lumpenproletariat. But then I realised that the format was, in an odd sort of way, completely appropriate, as its central conceit - ranking and sorting of young males into a dominance hierarchy - is fundamentally tribal, a kind of isomorphic thread of male behaviour that links all cultures, whatever their level of ostensive economic development, whether they live in jungles or cities.

More recently I've watched two episodes of what appears to be the female corollary of Last Man Standing, called 'Tribal Wives'. Perhaps more conventionally anthropological, without the gameshow structure, the 'suspenseful' music, and the ADD-inducing editing, it's instead based around the premise of the high-flying, highly-stressed career-woman-with-kids wanting to 'rebalance' her work-life with her home-life, and her body with her spirit, by going somewhere where people haven't forgotten how to be in touch with their environment, their friends, their feelings, and their inner-selves. (i.e. the premis follows, arguably, from a kind of naive fetishisation of extreme poverty.)
The two episodes I've seen made an interesting contrast. The first involved a middle-aged, previously divorced career woman with three kids going to a small tribe (or perhaps 'band') of about 50 people who lived in the Brazilian rainforest; the latter involved a sub-middle-aged (mid 30s rather than mid 40s) Irish previously-divorced (from shotgun marriage following teenage pregancy when aged 17) career woman with three kids going to a medium-sized tribe in a dry African dustbowl.
Although it wasn't stated explicitly in the programmes, the first tribe were mostly hunter-gatherers, though with some basic agriculture, and the second were subsistence farmers, entirely reliant on their crops and their livestock.
Again, though this wasn't stated explicitly, the first tribe seemed friendlier, happier, calmer, and more egalitarian, both in terms of differences between household wealth, and gender relations (for example, they were monogonous). The second tribe, by contrast, seemed to be unhappier, more possessive, less friendly (they laughed at the protagonist when she tried to 'fit in' by dressing like them), more tense, more jealous, and more unequal (for example they were polygynous - one man with many women, which by implication means many men with no women - and marital relations appeared to be skewed in favour of male dominance over females).
By the end of the first woman's sojourn in the first tribe, she had been married to a middle-aged divorced tribal man who had spent the previous few weeks courting her with offerings from long hunts in the jungle, and was distraught at the prospect of leaving the tribe and their way of life. By contrast, the second woman was very happy to leave when her stay was over, having suffered drought, diarrhea, and persistent social ridicule.
The first woman arrived and left in a plane; the second woman in a car. When the second tribe saw the car, they were jealous ("She must be rich because the windows of her car go down without a handle", one of them said). The first tribe, apparently, were not.

Though just a set of contrived, carefully edited (and thus potentially misleading) anecdotes, the differences seem to fit with what I've read about the relationship between agriculture and inequality. Once people depend upon their possessions to live, they start to live for their possessions. More possessions thus means more chance of surviving; less possessions, less chance. Comparative wealth soon matters as much as absolute wealth, as having less wealth that others means having one's life-chances increasingly determined by those with more wealth. Accumulation and ownership thus become predominant concerns, and can spiral (and have spiralled) into practices and standards of living that can endanger the entire planet...

I've realised I just sounded like a self-righteous hippy. Of course the situation's more complex than this, and I'm essentially ambivalent (rather than simply dismissive) about modern ways of living. However, ambivalence and endless equivocation isn't a useful way of thinking about these issues clearly; better to take on a perspective and see where it takes you, than to change direction mid-route.
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Tweets for Today [Jul. 11th, 2008|12:05 pm]

conormaguire

  • 13:54 Ice cream still makes me think of spawn, but I am eating it regardless. #

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Tweets for Today [Jul. 10th, 2008|12:09 pm]

conormaguire
  • 08:29 The new girl at Starbucks makes me dislike how high those aprons are cut. And makes me want to go to Starbucks more than usual. #
  • 11:52 The lunch gamble may have been a failure. Commence hunger! All hands to your posts! #
  • 13:47 I wish the temperature my body feels actually was in sync with reality. #
  • 18:34 Is Comedy Central giving our dying empire its theatralis licentia? #
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